Have you ever heard the words "just sit with your feelings"? Have you ever tried it? If you have, then you will know that it is NOT AN EASY TASK! It is scary. Why would I welcome uncomfortable or terrifying feelings like shame, grief, disappointment and anger into my repertoire of feelings? Why would I want to spend even one second feeling them? What if I told you, whether you like it or not, ALL of your feelings are here to stay. Whether we invite them or not, they are there, not so patiently knocking at our door with a message. If we keep the door locked to them, they don't go away, they get louder. Imagine we invited them into our homes, offered them a seat at our table and got to know them better, explored the messages that they bring? Tell me more! All that vulnerability around your table-wow. Each feeling is vital, brings with it wisdom and has its place. Until we acknowledge and name our darker feelings, we unknowingly remain slaves to them. So how do we break free? Watch to find out ;)

Naaseh Ve'Nishma- We will do, and then seek to understand. As parents, our days are full of action. We do and do and keep doing—only stopping long enough to catch our breath before jumping back in. But what if we brought Nishma (understanding) into the Naaseh (doing) of parenting? What if we paused to reflect on why we do what we do? My bet? The doing would feel a lot more doable. This week, try to carve out just one quiet moment to reflect on your parenting 'doing'—the Naaseh—and listen for the Nishma, the meaning behind it. For more Shavuot ideas and recipes, games and stories for children head to- https://www.jewishhouse.org.au/jh-kids/jh-kids---shavuot

When you're in it, you're in it. When things are tough, they are tough. It can be difficult to remember how we functioned as people and as parents beforehand, and difficult to believe that we can again function as "normal", or find a new normal. In this video we look to the mitzvot/activities of Purim to learn some lessons that can support us through a difficult patch- individually, communally or nationally.

Lesson 1- You've done it before, you can do it again!

Lesson 2- Connect through giving. I have what to give and that leaves me with a sense of deep gratitude.

Lesson 3- Connect through receiving. Reach out to your friends.

Lesson 4- Use all your senses to fuel your physical selves through this hard time.

What happens when we shift from crisis mode to everyday mode?

Your children are back at school and I'm sure you already know what storm I am referring to. How do you prepare? What have you found to be more/less helpful?

What happens when we distract ourselves away from our uncomfortable instead of facing them?

When we feel big feelings we let them out in one of three ways (According the Lael Stone) Aggression, Expression and Repression. Expression is the healthiest outlet. So how do you like to express yourself?

Your children may be showing deep uncomfortable feelings through the transition back to school. As parents it is natural for us to want to step in and take those feelings away, or fix their challenges for them. But what would happen if we supported them through and trusted that they have the tools to face this?

Patience is Power. It allows for the all important pause that is the difference between responding and reacting. It is easier said than done but a skill worth investing in, moment by moment.

You've had a time to reset. To just be and to reprioritise. Ask yourself now what do I want? What do I want for my family moving forward. Would I change anything? You have a choice in how you move forward. Be comfortable saying 'no' to commitments, knowing that by doing so you are saying 'yes' to what you actually want and what is best for your family.

What is compassion? How does it differ from empathy? Why is it so important? How can we build it?

Advocating for ourselves of for our child is not always easy! We often step in at a time when feelings are running high. How can we approach advocacy feeling calm, confident, competent and compassionate?

There are many different ways to describe the Colour Zones of Regulation, and different people use different colours. Today we are focussing on Blue, Green, Orange and Red. Learn what it looks and feels like when you or your child are in each colour zone and what you can do about it. Click here for a video that you can show your kids to help explain their zones of regulation.

Relationships exist between people. They are two directional and patterns develop within them. Let's call it a dance. What do your dances look like? Are they supportive and loving? Do they feel icky and uncomfortable? What can we do to have more enjoyable dances, and learn the trick to immediately end the uncomfortable dances and create new ones.

Click here for an article that delves into "When your child seems stuck seeking negative attention.

What's your Go-To Defence Mechanism? Get to know it, learn to notice when it pops up, ask yourself if it is helpful and if not, know that with some work, you can train your brain and change it. Click here for Lael Stone's tedtalk where she expands on repression, agression and expression.

When we are triggered, our reaction is usually an OVER reaction and we might wonder where such an intense reaction came from. When considering intense and triggering interactions, I like to consider who is in the drivers seat. Is it my adult self? Or is a younger version of myself coming out to play? When we overreact, it is usually the latter.
Click here for a great podcast that delves into this deeper.

Ludacris? I know! Life is busy. Life is tough. Sit in the tough for a bit. Sit in the good for a bit. Are things really all that bad that they need fixing? Is it possible that it is good enough? It is important to work on yourself, being growth oriented is a goal in and of itself, but sometimes we forget to get off the treadmill of working on ourselves, and being the best version of ourselves that we don't even realise what we have right here and now is good enough. If you're anything like me, then when you've had a bad day, you think how you can make things better so that the next day is easier. Tough times are uncomfortable, and we want to take away that discomfort- sometimes focusing on how you can fix it, or make things better is another way of distracting you from just sitting in the difficult space. Because sometimes, it is just a bad day, and if you can step back, you will see that the bigger picture is not as bleak as you think. It's been a tough year all round. Good enough IS good enough.

Yes, we know about the apple and honey- we dip it each year, but what can we learn from it? The apple can represent the different aspects of us, or our moods and those of our children- happy, sad, sour, angry. Apples go bad pretty quickly if they are left out- they aren't permanent. The feelings and moods and even behaviours come and go. What is permanent? The Honey- the goodness that exists within all of us, our desire to do good, the fact that we, and our children are doing our best. You're having a yucky moment, but you're not a bad apple!

So go and coat the apple in the honey as a reminder of the sweet truth about each one of us.

Can you write a list of all the things you love doing, and set an alarm each day to ensure you are putting your needs first?

How are you? When was the last time you asked the question and paused to actively listen to the answer? Do it for others and yourself and see how validating and supportive it can be.

Sometimes we just need a really good vent. Someone or something we can turn to and share all of our fears, worries, anger, disappointment, and joys. Who or what would you turn to? Where can you safely share these things? You can write it in a journal, scribble it on a paper, share with a friend.

Pause for a minute. What is the constant chatter in your mind saying? Are you even aware of it? Is it kind, encouraging and supportive?

Sometimes we give by giving, and sometimes we give by allowing somebody to give to us. Challenge your difficulties with asking for help. We are a team- reaching out in times of need reduces our aloneness and helps us to get through. Give it a go.